Couples Advice and Ice Cream
This is what almost 20 years of marriage looks like. What almost 28 years of being together looks like. Patience. Tolerance. Knowing each other so well. And knowing what you can and cannot accept from/for your partner.
This is also what the pre-beginning of our marriage looked like. What I like to tell our kids is the story of how I almost didn’t marry their father. It starts with ice cream, like all good stories do.
No, it starts with traveling to southern France for my husband’s conference the month before our wedding. We had been to southern France before, but never to Cannes. We took a flight into one Paris airport…and it turns out we were supposed to connect at the other Paris airport across town.
I don’t remember if we had to change our flight, but my husband remembers we had a very kind airline employee who tried very hard to assist us and get us to Nice. I kind of wish she tagged along with us and held our hands the whole way to Cannes.
Here’s the story that I’ve written before for the blog:
About a month before our wedding, Mr. Bookworm had a conference in Cannes. Of course I tagged along. Neither of us speak French (I know only a few phrases) and this was in the time before cell phones. Now let me preface this story with a fact that my little Bookworm family is well aware of: I hate getting lost. Hate it. Hate it even more if I have to drive in circles.
Even more than that--I hate being hungry. Or hot. Or hungry and hot.
We flew into Paris and would take another flight to Nice. Here's the thing: there are TWO airports in Paris. And we connected in the OTHER airport. We didn't realize this until we couldn't find our connection. And, as Mr. Bookworm recalls, a kind Air France employee informed us of our mistake. Then she booked us on a later flight so we could take a bus across the City of Light to the correct airport.
From Nice, we took another bus and arrived early in the morning to Cannes. And had no idea where to go.
No need for a taxi--was one even around?--as our hotel was just a few short blocks away. So as the town started to wake up, Mr. Bookworm and I wandered back and forth through the city streets. No one knew where our small hotel was located. And no one could give us directions. Or if they did, we'd follow their instructions to a "T" and still didn't spot our hotel.
Well, it was getting warmer and I was getting frustrated. Finally I told Mr. Bookworm that it was his turn to ask for directions. He left me with the luggage and I sat and sat and sat.
As the temperature rose, I started to fume. Where was he? What was taking so long? I peeked into the shops next to me and he was no where to be found.
Do I trudge in the direction I think he went? I'd have to lug all our stuff with me.
I sighed. I was pretty frustrated and I couldn't understand how I could spend the rest of my life with someone who didn't understand me and couldn't ask for directions. The wedding was OFF.
Just as I was giving up, I spied Mr. Bookworm. He was happily marching toward me with TWO ice cream cones in hand plus a map with directions. He placed an ice cream in front of me.
And that was it.
How could I not marry the person who understands me the most?
And accepts all my flaws.
So my advice: sometimes their memory is better than yours. Sometimes you have to go with the flow. Sometimes you have to be patient even though you’re at the end of your rope. But, really, what it comes down to, is that sometimes you have to TRUST your partner. And know that he/she knows what he is doing, even if it’s knowing that you’re in need of an ice cream cone on a hot day in Cannes.
[This picture is from today from my husband’s current ‘office’ in our backyard. Proof that he knows me well? Not only did he pick up our order from Sweet Elle today so I could get my lavendar latte fix, he patiently posed for this picture as I interrupted what he was doing and also patiently waited while I carefully scooted around one grapevine that had some spider webbing on it. Because he knows I am ridiculously arachnophobic even as he said there was no spider on the vine. And that’s why I’m laughing so much in this selfie. Because he still smiled for the photo when I told him what it was for. I was inspired to post this story again by the wedding couples contest at Sweet Elle.]
