A light for my light
October 15 is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. Did you know that 1 in 4 people have experienced miscarriage and infant loss? We don’t talk about it enough. But EVERY time I meet someone in clinic who has experienced this loss, I pause in my day.
Why?
Because I know exactly how it feels. I don’t want to make it about me, but I talk about my Macy. I don’t want you to feel alone because you’re not alone.
As I’m writing this I am listening to Mini Me at age 13 singing Evanescence’s My Immortal as I happened to come across the video of her recital performance this morning. The vibe, the essence is exactly how I’m feeling right now.
Mini Me was 2 years old when I was pregnant with Macy. She was my light and the main reason I made it through all the grief. And though we knew Macy was going to die—as she had multiple medical conditions on top of trisomy 18—it still was a hard road through the grief. I still think of her every day.
Today, I light a candle for each of my three kids: my Mini Me whose laughter and charm literally got us through Macy’s funeral and more, my Little Lion—the rainbow baby who brought joy back into our lives, and most of all for my Macy, who taught me unconditional love. Mine, for her; and my family and friends for me.
I’m holding a butterfly ornament from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a non-profit organization who sends photographers to document your precious few moments with your baby. We had an amazing photographer, Jeff, who came out for Macy. They are an amazing organization, with many wonderful volunteer photographers.
